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just recently, i came to terms with the inevitable. the one thing i’m scared of, the one thing that will challenge my choices and the one thing that is bound to happen no matter what i do. there’s really nothing i can do but get myself together and face it with the bravest face i can pull off. sometimes you don’t realize the impact of your choices until you’re finally faced with the consequences. if you’re lucky, you will be vindicated. that’s the funny thing about life (and its wicked twists) – it’s easy to accept it when it goes your way. but when it doesn’t, you blame it on injustice and lack of better judgment.

nothing can prepare us for the inevitable or for our fears. a friend once told me that “not even the fact that you are expecting it will make it less painful when it finally happens.” i cringe at the mere thought of it. it feels like i’m in the middle of a crazy roller coaster ride and there’s nothing i can do but wait for it to finish. it’s bound to stop at some point, but until it doesn’t, i just have to hold on tight, scream and wait.

so i will scream. i will hold on tight up to the last bit of hope and strength i have. and i will wait.