wickedly Wicked.

for the past five days i've been literally hooked to the songs of Wicked. i've seen the broadway musical last summer and i just fell in love with it! there's no better feeling in the world than being in love and giddy and inspired - and Wicked did just that to me. ♥

one (over) night in the office, my "emo" genes hit me again and there's no perfect song i could think of to match my ka-emohan but Defying Gravity. so i listened to it on my phone and belted my best falsetto. can you imagine me hitting these high notes - "kiss me goodbyeeeee i'm defyyyyyiiiing gravity..."??  probably NOT. i figured i must have sounded ridiculous cos i saw my co-worker cracking up. :)

seriously, though, i just realized that i've been following (always) by the rules. i was never that black sheep every family had. i've always been that goody-goody girl who was afraid to break the rules, who was afraid to disappoint her parents. well, i must say i've had my share of a few minor black sheep moments but they were different and done with good reason. but i was never that rebellious kid who cut classes or smoked pot in the backyard or pierced her tongue or hung out with shady kids. i was never like that, although i confess i cut classes once to watch the Chicago Bulls in the playoffs (haha). don't get me wrong- it's not that i wish i were that rebellious kid. but you know things are not going so well in my life right now that these stupid thoughts just hit me- like i did everything the right way but how come my life still kinda sucks now? i know, i know this is beyond stupid. the second i thought about it i knew it was absurd. but i know some people who, in their younger years, made "mistakes" which turned into beautiful mistakes and they're really happy now and having the time of their lives. so, just saying...

next track is I'm not that Girl -"don't wish. don't start. wishing only wounds the heart. i wasn't born for the rose and pearl. there's a girl i know, he loves her so. i'm not that girl." - oh the classic story of unrequited love. :( at some point in our lives, we've all been through this. we've all felt that painful feeling of longing for someone whose heart belongs to someone else. ahhhh i can still remember how i was crushing this guy in high school (who was crushing on one of the popular girls). it was my first heartbreak. i spent hours and hours writing about him in my journal. we all get crazy like that in high school. we thought we were in love, but we weren't really. it was just good ol' puppy love. but it's fun reminiscing those giddy, awkward years.


final track is For Good - i love this song to bits! ♥ it's the only song i listen to all day and night - in the subway, in the office, even in the bathroom; and it's my lullaby every single night for the past five days. i never get tired of it. and it makes me teary-eyed every time. i think this is the perfect message to all the important people who came into and out of our lives. i really believe in these lines:

"i've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason 
bringing something we must learn. 
and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them 
and we help them in return. 
well, i don't know if i believe that's true. 
but i know i'm who i am today because i knew you.
it well may be that we will  never meet again in this lifetime.
so let me say before we part so much of me is made from what i learned from you
you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart.
and now whatever way our stories end
i know you have re-written mine by being my friend..."

this song is a constant reminder to me that people are brought into my life for a purpose. i may not figure out exactly what that purpose is but i believe they are all God-sent to either teach me a lesson or help me appreciate my blessings or even just to make me smile after a long, crappy day.

and while it's true that people come and go in our lives, no matter how difficult it is to let them go, i know now that i shouldn't think of it in a negative way. instead, i should cherish each moment i have with the people i care for. make each moment count. and hopefully, somehow, i can make a difference in their lives. i really do hope so.  :)